1. |
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this is the end
don’t beg for me
don’t beg for me
a stone hovering my head
engraved with the letters of my name
i gotta go away
but you’ll discover some new lovers and old friends
don’t be so sad
gotta good feeling we’ll be seeing each other again
this is the end
summer’s closing and we approach another year
the wind outside pushes familiar scents throughout the house
along with my regret
i want to suppress the memories
but they’re the only ones i have left of you
so i embrace them all
you would encourage me to move on
and that’s what i’ll do
it’s been a year in the dark
but i have hope again
and i hope you get the planet earth
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2. |
Mope
04:47
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had a couple of friends
they moved on
had a cup full of hope, baby
i drank it down too soon
now i bleed it down the drain
pretending to get something done
spinnin wheels in a rut
writing songs for no reason
and these dead dog dreams are like
prayers sent off to fake jesus
and these skeleton hands hold me well for now but
receding flesh making it easy to sleep through
i’m a mid life wife with no love
whose children moved on
with nothing to care for
only having thoughts of myself
this life is a dull shade of lonely
with bitterness undertones
encased by a highway
we’re never gonna get outta here
i try with my bike but
i always turn back when i see the clear
i see new cuts on your arms each time
but you’re deliberately missing the point
everyone so eager to leave
all the talk of giving up so annoying
another day outta work
too depressed to touch my feet to the floor
if i must spew this shit once more
my head will
fall off and cuddle visions of blackness
dying eyes stare through the tv screen
just a floor below me
i can hear the brain cavities called commercials
rotting minds of loved ones and more so
her touch is a weak one i can tell
by support needed with my help
when did this happen to us i missed so much
was it because i’ve been so out of touch
cold coffee and tiny pools of blood
short lived routine i’m already sick of
years wasted that i can’t ever make up
becoming so pathetic having all i want
encased by a highway
we’re never gonna get outta here
i try with my bike but
i always turn back when i see the clear
i see new cuts on your arms each time
but you’re deliberately missing the point
everyone so eager to leave
all the talk of giving up so annoying
she calls it a phenomenon
using words like a true scholar would
boomerang boy that has never been tossed
returning home even though he never left
i sit and hear my life unfold
explicit truths that have never been told
enough guilt without the example
by 24 i should’ve done so much more
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3. |
Get Wrong Get Real
04:01
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i had no idea
i’d have to deal with so many
stupid fucking people here
i wanted a career
where my hourly input
saved me from talking for a year
and now i’m drinking on the brandy
oh just like my daddy did
trying to wash the demons clear
and now i’m working hard for something
in the morning i’ll be nothing
hope that i’ll get out of here
get wrong get real
get wrong get real
you had a life that was fed to you
but still you ask for the spoon of steel
you’re so damn pathetic
you tried to be a critic
but when you open your mouth you hear
oh you hear it
this is what it’s like
get wrong get real
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4. |
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i’m billy corgan ass naked at a rave
trying to play a bullet with butterfly wings
and as the neo hippy stoners hear me sing
they laugh, give a glance, but don’t think anything
i’m stone cold sober in the shower after three
it’s cold and it’s dark and humiliating
don’t wanna die on a pathetic final plea
be a jpeg of a joke on a tweens dashboard screen
i don’t know what has gotten into me
i was cool and so dark
the goth girlies worshipped me
time passed me by like it’s passing you by
spent so much time in the sour eye
squinting at the world, thinking i’m always right
i’m still a god
i am the definition of music
that won’t back down from a fight
the kids are stupid
they don’t care about my songs
i’m the only truth teller
who can do no wrong
the listeners grew up and gave up on the cause
now they all got children, mortgages, and no balls
i’ve got impeccable taste, i know you don’t get it
not everyone knows the words that you need
to describe an insufferable, superfluous scene
i don’t know what has gotten into me
i was cool and so dark
the goth girlies worshipped me
time passed me by like it’s passing you by
spent so much time in the sour eye
squinting at the world, thinking i’m always right
i’m still a god
i am the definition of music
that won’t back down from a fight
the business bad boys got it wrong
the teeny neon ravers got it wrong
the billy boppin cowboy rockers got it wrong
and most of all, i got it wrong
i don’t know what has gotten into me
i was cool and so dark
the goth girlies worshipped me
time passed me by like it’s passing you by
spent so much time in the sour eye
squinting at the world, thinking i’m always right
i’m still a god
i am the definition of music
that won’t back down from a fight
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5. |
Sunday
04:53
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give me a reason
now that it’s over
to get outta bed and stretch these limbs
that haven’t worked in forever
you asked for little in return
and it was denied
to see me graduate, get a wife, and bring
children into this life
i feel you in my bones
hear your voice in mine
it comes out every once and awhile
and makes me feel as if it’s alright
you did it 20 oh some years
and you did it right
i’ll never be half of the man you were
the guilt cuts me like a knife
and now the future is gone
swept out under my feet like a rug
if i learned anything
it’s how to become a listless plain
these dreams reinterpret the scenes
equatable to the horror films
i frequented as a teen
you come to me in pale flesh and fresh wounds
just as you were
in the fluorescent drenched hospital rooms
i wish i could stop seeing you this way
forgetting your face would be better
than this phase
give into that empty room
in the back of the house
where they torture you
can’t anybody hear these voices too
i become what you were
until i am through
and now the future is gone
swept out under my feet like a rug
if i learned anything
it’s how to become a listless plain
floating through the nothing
and appreciating everything
indifference for so many strains
just to keep myself staying sane
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6. |
Robin
04:24
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death will free you
from your emptiness
i hate seeing you
in the tv static hiss
we watched another star burnout today
wondering if by chance
or if by the hands that would lovingly create
i sit by your bed and we relate
the pain is obviously
i am a decade or two too late
fly robin fly
leave this life
fly robin fly
leave my side
fly robin fly
leave this life
fly robin fly
leave this life
tonight, tonight
constantly being told i’d get a sign
staying up late, frightening myself
trying to conjure the afterlife
everyone around me is delusional
always in need of comfort
and some false faith for conclusion and will
but i know i’ve seen the end and
it doesn’t end well
in fact, it’s pretty bad
for all of us
when i was young, i thought i could get away
make a clean break for the light
without a deafening fate
you were a boy with no fear
an untarnished image so clear
fly robin fly
leave this life
fly robin fly
leave my side
fly robin fly
leave this life
fly robin fly
leave this life
tonight, tonight
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7. |
Plane To Boston
02:38
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we cut through the overcast
like a needle through fabric
and in that miraculous moment
my thoughts became ever so tragic
i was brought down to tears
as the bird lifted me so high
above those wondrous clouds
i started wondering why
they defined heaven as a place like this
did someone write the holy book
just dreaming of the abyss
but with no real hope of ever gettin there
my stomach churned and i whispered,
father, please be near
as you were in my younger years
holding my hand and tellin me
everything’s alright
for this plane is just a car ride
we’re drifting happily along
look at all the buildings outside
but i’m seated alone
and the light above me
tells me to fasten my seatbelt
we’re headed straight into the unseen
and my fears run wild
hinting at a bitter end
i look at the vacant seat next to me
his image i project
and we’re gazing in
a horizon divided
between the clouds and the sky
i hold on for dear life
i don’t ask for god
i don’t ask for forgiveness
my vision blurred by the tears
i just want him to know he’s missed
so i can rest in this cold tin can
visit the one that i love
maybe forget some of the past
feast my eyes on some new land
live up to what i’ve been missing
without feelin so bad
son you now are finally free
take what you have learned
so you don’t forget about me
now you are on your own
you’re on your own now
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8. |
Car Dealer
03:29
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i’m in the middle of something
and i don’t like what’s going on
he’s got shitty taste
you can see it in the shape of his beard
on the brink of a panic attack
i’ll make this fucking car blow
the only air i have is a thick musk
of expensive cologne
this seatbelt is suffocating
and my mind is moving at 45
while my body is seven blocks behind
everyone else is on their regular
and no one can read my mood
i’m too distracted by the cheap talk
and that car dealership attitude
he brags about the drinks he can get in
and still drive
fled the scene after goin 80
without a dui
i’m so bewildered by the character judgement thus far
nothing quite as tiring to keep your manners
when there’s nothing to say
and you’re trapped in the back
in the back of a car
this seatbelt is suffocating
and my mind is moving at 45
while my body is seven blocks behind
everyone else is on their regular
and no one can read my mood
i’m too distracted by the cheap talk
and that car dealership attitude
this is me trying hard to care
everything about this place
is so warped and beyond repair
these words are the broken glass of your soul
i can crush you in a heartbeat
but that’s beyond my control
this seatbelt is suffocating
and my mind is moving at 45
while my body is seven blocks behind
everyone else is on their regular
and no one can read my mood
i’m too distracted by the cheap talk
and that car dealership attitude
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9. |
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(for mike)
do you wanna get a little nasty
on the pavement floor
i know that we don’t see each other
much anymore
but i thought that i’d write a song
with the lyrics that you made
in memory of spittin on the floor
and the baggy jeans you wore
i hope you don’t mind
that i took the first line
i spent a night’s worth
looking through the external hard drive
to see what i could find
i found a fucking nasty
do you wanna get a little bit nasty
i see a little jesse boy
and all the stupid shows we planned
it might not mean much anymore
but it won’t stop ringing in my head
i’ll be loving you here in my heart
and when it’s late and i’m in my bed
why’s it so hard to connect in the first place
i live so close to my friends
but i rarely see a face
i put up walls and barricades
just to say that i’m okay
rather pretend to be strong
than make a call
cuz that’s the last thing that they need
unless they feel the same way
and i’m an idiot
i’m just so fed up with losing everyone
that i’d rather not invest the emotion
this was meant to be
just a stupid thought
maybe something to make you laugh
it will never be the same
you’re well aware of that
reminiscing is all i have
i found a fucking nasty
do you wanna get a little bit nasty
i see a little jesse boy
and all the stupid shows we planned
it might not mean much anymore
but it won’t stop ringing in my head
i’ll be loving you here in my heart
and when it’s late and i’m in my bed
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10. |
Give Up (Fight Song)
02:31
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life long dreams, aspirations
dismantle the drumset
to put in the basement
spoiled children
tired of vacation
they ate your freedom
now where is the sanctum
i cannot fathom
the years you gave up to them
i am too selfish
i can sustain in a room forever
i can listen to myself
i can stare at all these papers
i can hold my own conversation
i can listen to myself speak forever
i am holed up in the shadows
thinking about how it struck me
one small turn around the corner
and the melody wrote itself down
i am a sad song
a human with no cause
in comparison to you
who did everything the right way
i can listen to myself
i can stare at all these papers
i can hold my own conversation
i can listen to myself
i can listen to myself sing
forever
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11. |
Mac
04:43
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there’s no gain in being classically trained
the kids don’t give a shit
unless it gives them a headache
and hip hop lives on
along with white appropriation
some stupid fucking stoner
with a mic in mom’s basement
who’s quick to tattoo a few roses on his neck
some skulls on his forearms
and jesus on his hands
in this sick, sad world
where image means much more than words
this punk can make a living as his
grade teachers clean the floors
if his body contained the slightest bit of melanin
he’d be cast out as a criminal
that ink would read felon
but luckily for him
he’s got god on his side
as if it wasn’t obvious enough
check the cross under his eye
it’s another sad boy
livin in city suicide
the youth gets what they want too young
and then they wanna die
some pretty little fair skin
educated and well shaven
goin to a party
gonna use plenty of women
coax em with the cheap drinks
and tell em how daddy thinks
the end of the night concludes with rounds of high fives
he arrives in a musk
entitlement in we trust
gotta do something great in life
it’s never been enough
to work a shitty 9 to 5
and come home to a wife
who's always been second best
to some young mistress on the side
life ain’t ever easy
when you constantly get smothered
i’m a prime example
just as useless as the others
this town is one big glass house
reputations to be shattered
middle school kids armed with rocks
aim for windows cuz nothing matters
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12. |
Suicide Friends
05:30
|
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every middle white case male clown thinks
that a good song needs a chorus and a breakdown
with some whiny lyrics about livin in mom's house
in a boring town
oh what a tragedy
but i'm not about to break the model
this is the only music i fit in naturally
plus i fit the mold
another useless soul from
a loving home
and too much pampering
but it really struck a note when you closed the door
in that man’s face looking for an honest living
sorry sir
we only serve our kind
and this war is alive
there’s a fire ablaze
right in front of our eyes
but our stupid kids only got one thing on their minds
how can you feel so bad for yourself
when you get everything and everything else
give the rope some slack and watch it burn your hands
your blisters bubble and break as they are laughing
maybe i’m a bad attitude magnet
maybe the people i drew were just for thoughts in transit
and as they fade away i pay much more attention
the sickening ideals are as real as the actions
sorry sir
we only serve our kind
and this war is alive
there’s a fire ablaze
right in front of our eyes
but our stupid kids only got one thing on their minds
suicide, suicide
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I Hope You Get The Planet Earth Illinois
My last attempt.
I hope you get the planet earth.
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